What is it you plan to do with your wild & precious life?

Image courtesy : http://www.allthingspaper.net/2012/11/welcome-november-sponsors.html

Thank you God for the cat you sent us

Image courtesy : http://zabajzna222.deviantart.com/art/black-cat-in-the-night-119980182

Thank you god for the cat you sent us, grey & stripey, a little fearsome at distance, but up close she is soft & small, with scars from a life on the street. She came in on the look out for fish, but loved the milk I fed her too. She took up her place on the dining chair for a while & then on the window ledge, her door to the house and then she was gone, in to the starlit night.

Unhappy times?

Things dont seem to be going smoothly. not much work, which means not much money. Investments seems to have depreciated! can you imagine, doubt if any property investment has managed to depreciate in these times in India that too in NCR! but we seem to have managed that!wondering when things would get better, if they would at all! life looks bleak

a clickclicking day

had a click clicking day, went out & clicked pics not many of them great, what with a dying battery & a full data card.Got the hang of it though, down to what to wear.was at the GK park

A K Hangal passed away, an Amul ad missing

A K Hangal passed away today, there seems to be no Amul ad commemorating his life unlike that of Dara Singh & Rajesh Khanna! unfair!! 

Rainy days & the manual scavenging bill

Days are rainy grey, no after shower sunshine to add the sparkle, but its better than the scorching heat.The monsoon deficit has been come down to 16% for this year.Terrace clogged, water seeping through the bedroom ceiling & wall. Need to fix the water drainage outlets.The standard method here seems to be calling a plumber who sends in an unskilled laborer who cleans or rather tries to unblock the pipe manually. I plan on using Drainex

Thinking of which, the Indian government has finally banned manual scavenging, manual cleaning of septic tanks & other sewers (read more here), which is excellent news! It has become a punishable offence........punishable with a jail term mind you....Weather the job is given out by an individual or organisation. As yet no hue & cry over job losses. Wonder what that means, if the workers are happy they don't have to do it anymore or if they are too illiterate & unorganized to put up a fight.

Either ways it is a great step forward. Manual scavenging is dehumanizing work.
The Indian railways, which still has miles & miles of tracks that are filthy from the open toilets that the trains still continue to use, seem not too happy with the idea though.They have filed for a exemption. I would say its high time they stopped using more than a century old technology (or rather lack of it :)) & upgraded to bio-digester toilets.

While looking for the right terminology I came accross this excellent site Go Green Solutions Though privately owned they seem to be associated with government projects. Sounds great even for residential projects

We check in to Tallital Guest house

Room, KMVN Sarovar TRH, Tallital 

 We check in to the Tallital guest house & are pleasantly surprised by the rooms,well proportioned & clean.The balcony is a dream overlooking the lake.

We move the red chairs outside in to the balcony & sit there sipping tea, watching the mist settle into the lake

Balcony, KMVN sarovar TRH, Tallital

A trip to the misty mountains

Sorting images is a task, takes ages & heart rending decision making.so here are some I decided to keep.And the story ofcourse

Having taken the 6.15 AM kathgodam Shatabdi from Anand Vihar Terminal railway station in Delhi we got to kathgodam by about 12.00 PM.Picking a cab was a task with many haggling & forcing you into their cabs.we took one for 400 Rupees about 25% more than we should have I suppose.The Road to Nainital is beautiful even in the monsoons, misty mountains & green, at times coniferous, forests.The driver was ill tempered & grumpy & persuaded us to have some chai at the chai shop he's fixed up with

Kathgodam to Nainital by road

Road from Nainital to kathgodam

Once we got there a steep climb awaited to the KMVN guest house at Tallital.City living non exercising us reached the reception with out luggage breathless & red in the face.We were lucky,it was the monsoons & nobody came to the hills just then.The room I confirmed from the railway station was there ready for us.

The difficult to please A could not believe his eyes when he saw the balcony.It was large & had a lovely view of the lake.The room was beautiful, may be not the best in terms of interiors but clean & well proportioned.

View from the balcony, KMVN guest house, Tallital

Mist in the mountains

Nainital is beautiful in the rains. Its misty one minute & then its not, mist in the mountains is one of the most beautiful things in the world. A bit ghostly in a Ruskin Bond manner.We stayed by the lake on the mall road.  We could see the lake from our balcony framed with mountains & with swan boats in them. And when the night fell a hundred lights lit up the mall road.

For the second & third day we moved up to Snow view, The old British Governer house, having lived through a rough restoration the structure retains some of its colonial stateliness.The wood panelled floor & ceiling dates back to the British times, so does all of the structure, with its thick, load bearing walls, deep windows with shades held in place by curly wrought iron metal work.The restoration was thankfully limited to the finishes.The place is set in a pine forest & a beautiful winding road takes you down to the mall road.

A lovely trip

More on the trip & pictures soon

Luka leaves

Luka's left. For a better world I hope, where he can chase butterflies & play in the mud & has a soft cushion of his own in the sun.
He had distemper & went undetected. Sort of shakes my faith in the work being done for dogs. wonder where he contracted the disease, most likely after he came into the hands of his well wishers. Feel bad I was not there for him when he most needed me, after all he was almost my dog, Had spent majority of his life off the street, about 12 days with me.

Despair

A despair ridden day.

Luka is sick, admitted to a hospital (Paws).Have offered Ayesha to keep him if he required a convalescence period.Hope nothing happens to him.I will be heart broken.seriously considering keeping him.
Tried to try today, did not work.Got a scan done, follicle growth too less.so no hope this month either.I am starting to lose hope.  
I can see the worry in mummy's face too.I told her its probably just the time.she is brave in that manner & a fighter. 
I do hope it is time & that it comes to an end soon, coz it has gone on for too long.

In the mean while I will exercise, eat right, read up lots n lots on preparing to get pregnant. and leave the rest to him
after all all you can do is what you can

Time for goodbye

Its time, Luka will leave tommorrow, Ayesha will pick him up.The lady who wanted a nail count does not want him. He knows he is leaving, he is sad, does not leave my side,does not eat too much, refuses to go on the jahapanah walk as it is far away.I take him down to to the colony green spaces to do his thing. He holds his hind leg up, as if he is hurt, though cant really see anything.

It is a sad business keeping a dog for a short while, specially when it is somebody like Luka.I do not think I'll foster anymore.

Parting gift

Its been rainy again, the spider lilies are in full bloom in Jahapanah scenting the air.mushrooms sprouting on tree trunks.The earth is dark & wet,the millipedes working overtime.Its miraculous what a little water can do. Luka walks unleashed in the evenings these days. He chases squirrels & the quarrelsome brown birds called titars.he looks younger now, almost puppy like.stands up to be hugged if we hug.He's a sweet dog.

Amits blood sugar seems to be stabilising.been normal in the past 5 days. Its Luka's parting gift to us. He might be adopted. The man wants him for his mother, a sweet thing to do & Luka being the gentle dog he is I think he will do very well. Counted his toenails for Ayesha, supposedly the lady is superstitious about dogs with 20 toenails, they tend to be aggressive she says.The lucky Luka has only 18.Am really glad for him.It would have been painful to let him go to a shelter or back to the streets  to find his way back.

Luka goes for a walk

A & Luka go for a walk

Luka poses for the picture

reluctant walk back home

Luka

Luka, has settled down well. He's brought the rains with him.its raining today, as it has been for the past few days.The sky is grey, the earth wet.The walk in Jahanpanah is just beautiful.the yellow flowers of the spring are faded to a pale paper yellow, falling in the wind. hundreds of millipedes crawl the soil.The forest sounds of insects & birds.
Luka walks well.dignified, just by your side, as much a part of you as the leash arm.He's brought us change.Amit walks with him in the morning.The exercise does him good.we fight less, do more things together.are happier!
So guess its true that you ask & you will recieve.

A black dog on his way

A black dog on his way.Ayesha the lady with the spaniel is getting him.poor thing does not have a name! wonder how we will have a conversation! 

Ask & you shall recieve

Today has been a lucky day. It is not often that you find somebody like Shilo Shiv Suleman. Look her up here and it would definitely be worth your while. Apart from all else - the work & the fame - a considerable bit that too, the 22 year old writes beautifully.
Have to thank H for sharing this article today, I doubt I would have found her myself.The caption & the illustration was striking 'Ask & you shall recieve'.But what I found there was much more than merely striking.
Call me vain but I do not often find people to look upto, even more unlikely if that person is a decade younger than I (Talk about the tradition bound east).But Shilo was something else altogether.she made me feel empowered,showed me endless possibilities in a bright sparkly world and left me a little freer in my thought.Come to think of it I did ask for it! accross the universe right here

A day at Delhi Blue Pottery

A fruitful day, Went to the Delhi Blue Pottery studio ambitiously hoping for a free wheel to work on, The security person on the phone was extremely accurate with the directions. Just before
the flyover, after Safdarjung hospital, the second building of the three was bang on & anyways the signage was large & we got there smoothly.

After a short wait on the steps we were directed to Rajeshji, the studio incharge.He calmly

Trip with Sam & Mom

Flight. Pigeons at Lotus temple, New Delhi

Lotus Temple, New Delhi

Met Sam & her Mom today.Took them to see Delhi, The regular Qutub Minar,Lotus Temple, India gate route.Was hot, but could have been worse I guess, clicked pictures, heard the lovestory. was a fun trip.  

Rajesh Khanna Amul ad

Amul ad, remembering Rajesh Khanna

Did wonder if there would be an Amul butter ad for Rajesh khanna too,(like for Dara Singh) found it only today.Though I do feel Dara Singh was much more of an Amul personality.

A busy day

Its a busy day, way too many things to do, including buying stuff for an engagement reception to friend meets to actual work to friend meets.also too many things to plan, from a trek (Valley of flowers, Uttarakhand) to a visit home. Limp, in sweat clothed am a little worried. my blog traffic is falling.will I make a living out of blogging?

The heat is back again!

The heat is back again, Is hot like hell.Gone are the dark & cloudy days &

Rajesh Khanna passes away

Rajesh Khanna

Dara Singh & now Rajesh Khanna.This July seems exceptionally unlucky for bollywood, having lost two of its veterans.

The lost wall cabinet & Jilly Cooper

Map, Putney Common, Source :  http://www.wpcc.org.uk/

Life has been a bit dull.The sickness (flu) made me sleep through 2 days! no work , which means I dont make much money either.The holiday not planned - The valley of flowers trek next month. disoriented, don't know where to start, need to get back into schedule.Hoping to do so with this post.
To add to the misfortunes the beautiful wall cabinet I planned to buy on sale from a lady moving out of Delhi grabbed by a faster somebody else.

The good part is re-read Jilly Cooper's 'The common years'. Picked it up a few years back from a roadside vendor for 30-50 rupees (less than a dollar) in Bombay.Did not even know the lady then. But I should say has been an amazing buy.I have a feeling it is better than her novels too.
The Common Years is based on Cooper's diary entries for about a period of about 10 years starting 1972!. In those ten years she walked her

sick :(

Quite sick with cold & fever.not able to concentrate on anything.....The rain's gone too..:(

Dara Singh passes away

Dara Singh passed away yesterday.He was 84 & died after a brief illness, at home.The first action hero of Bollywood! India's very own Arnold Schwarzenegger.He did not save the world again & 



again. But then Bollywood was never really into saving the world, mother, sister & lady love occupied the coveted position, not necessarily in the order though. Amul commemorates Dara Singh, on thursday, 12 July 2012.

Monju

Have a new cleaning lady, Monju. Strangely comes from the same place as Protima (my legendary cook & cleaning lady from DB).About the same age 55+, tiny as they come, cotton sari clad, smiling with pan blackened teeth. Not as wisely & beautiful as Protima, a bit sillier maybe with a childlike smile.

The rainy weather is holding up! not much rain though...works with me as long as it looks like it might rain in the near future.Its all about hope..ain't it.

Worked with the new DSLR a bit.its a Canon 1100D learning the ropes.18-55 & 55-250 lenses.walked to a CR Park park, a tiny one with a few flowering plants.wasnt too bad, found the manual focus button, I seem to work much better with manual focus rather than auto focus.check out some pics below

A rainy monday morning

A rainy monday morning! beautiful, as the met department predicted rains was a bit worried it would not.They always manage to go wrong somehow, even the laws probabilities don't work uaually, but today seems one of those rare days when it has.

Neighbourhoodwoof

Ayesha, the lady with Gudiya the vegetarian spaniel has started a group on facebook. Neighbourhoodwoof. She works for the betterment of doglives in the capital, strays to be specific but really all of them. She sterilises & vaccinates street dogs & probably much more that I am not aware of.

some shopping

Temperatures have dropped. Just 30 degree celsius of maximum temperature is heavenly weather in Delhi.

Yesterday was a good day.drove down to janpath, shopped for t shirts & shoes, unplanned but extremely fruitful.a beautiful pair of sneakers from north star, extremely light weight with an elasticated back & export surplus tees in lovely colors. Delhi is definitely a good place to shop, probably the best in India.Only you need to know the right kind of places that fits your taste as well as pocket.

After the rain

Ha! its a new world, gone is the dust & the heat, I can hear the birds (am sure they were there before, just that it was too hot for me to hear them :) ).the sky is still a pale grey..thank god! there is more to come.the leaves clean & sparkly, the air cleaner & clearer.

Finally rain!

Finally the blessed rain, for the first time this summer! Temperatures have been upwards of 44 degree celsius in Delhi. Scorching temperatures aided by no summer rain.we are in a monsoon deficit of above 30% this year.

Homes specially the topmost floors (like mine) have turned into microwave ovens. Dust winds seeping through every opening. Plants in the balcony dying of heat, pets huddling themselves into the coolest corners if the Air Conditioning is not on. Simba holed up in the AC room, keeping a long distance eye on me in the kitchen.

Of this for more than a month and finally....the blessed rain, cool rain water pouring down, drenching the soil, washing down the dust.The scent of wet earth in the air, water drumming down  the roofing sheet.......could there be anything more wonderful on earth than rain!

Adhocness as an attitude

The cleaning lady moved on to a better job.so been cleaning today.The dishes mainly.

Its amazing how ad-hoc home fixtures can be in Delhi. A tiny kitchen sink placed far inside the L corner of the platform. Me with my above average height find it difficult to reach across it to do the dishes. Slopes of the platform designed to ensure all the dirty/soapy water trickles down on to your feet & clothes.It is truly a nightmare. And to think if it was built with even minimum care & a vague idea of usability lives could have been so much better.

more on the sugar levels & the old lady with the dalmation

Whew! the husband sugar levels down to almost normal. Is not easy to feed a diabetic, have been nose deep in diabetic recipes.Did discover some good sites & recipes in the meanwhile.

The boxer baby did not come.May be the shelters had an internal disagreement or whatever.Actually is difficult to keep large dogs in flats! wonder how people manage labs & dalmations.

Simba the bimba

Simba's at home.He's been around for almost 2 weeks now. He was just as tall as the bed when he came in, now he is a few inches taller.he has the longest dog legs I have seen & retractable neck.Reaches accross anything & everything & picks up books, utensils stuff to chew in general.
guess its not too easy to train dogs!

In Sickness

Husband diagnosed with diabetes.early stages, 35 is a very young age to contract the disease! but then lifestyles today are such I suppose.so we are in the control mode, diet plans, exercise schedules  & timetables.ordered the blood sugar monitor today, BP monitor & weighing scale are next on the shopping list
Neck deep in diabetic recipes.There are facets in life that one discovers as it comes.Did not know so many diabetic recipe sites existed!or for that matter Healthkart, the medical equipment online store.

a bit of sunshine

I have these memories from my childhood, misted by time, something like looking through morning dew.It is pleasantly cold.I am looking through a window, old fashioned with wooden rods for bars.the space outside is green, bathed in dew, with morning sunshine in it.

Even today when I am in an unhappy place I try & go back to that place, it lasts just a second, no more.but so fresh, so happy, so envigorating.makes me feel like I can do just anything.

but its difficult to do that you know, to go back to that place, everyone needs a proffessor X I suppose, to help them access the brightest part of their memory system.to help make the best of themselves.

rose apple wine

Did you know chambakaa was called rose apple! does in not sound like a beautiful exotic fruit...last year when I went home the chamba, behind the place was full of the pretty pink fruit. Sheba our mock golden retriever (shes not one but looks like one) loves em, but there is only so much one dog can eat.so most of the fruit  started accumulating in the shade of the tree.My father wanted to do something with them, so they did not all go wasted.

Now in my grand mom's time they were pickled, there were more people at home too I suppose, so pickles were in demand.Now with just my mom & dad at home there was a limit to how much pickle could be consumed.As we thought about it my father came up with a thought, There is actually no limit to the amount of wine you could consume :), & right now rose apple wine is likely to find more takers than rose apple pickle.

so we went on to make a ceramic jar full of rose apple wine.I have some pics, will try & upload sometime & the recipe too in case you want to make it too

THE RECIPE

INDGREDIENTS
1. Rose apple washed whole (with seeds) - 2 kg
2. Sugar - 1 kg
3. Cinnamon

METHOD
Wash & dry Rose apple & add to a ceramic jar.Add sugar & powdered cinnamon into the jar.Lid the jar & cover lidded mouth with a clean muslin/cotton cloth.Tie with string.keep in a dry place undisturbed for 12 days.Open on the 13th day & mix with a wooden/plastic spoon.Strain through a cotton cloth or plastic strainer & fill in colored glass bottles.All ready for consumption.

Could reduce the proportion of sugar according to taste.Would get stronger with time

It is burning hot, 46 degrees Celsius is definitely not funny temperature wise. living on the 4th floor of a four story apartment block means that my home converts to a microwave oven every summer.Add to it the fact that my current home does not ventilate well. the windows are jammed shut due to swollen walls & rusted hinges.


my landlord is a kanjoos makhichoos...epitome of miserliness & refuses to even touch the house in the name of maintenance.As a result the taps are leaking, rusted deep within, so even a superficial tap change will not help anymore, probably unchanged from the last 30 years since the building was constructed.plaster is crumbling from the outside, walls sagging onto the window panes preventing them from opening ever, the steel withinn the concrete rusted. Plants grow from the walls putting forth pretty purple flowers, probably their roots are responsible for holding my kitchen wall together. drains are blocked, bathroom flush permanantly out of order even with a new set of flushing systems.


I have a feeling this place might just crumble down one day. Just hope its empty at that time.

Have been hearing noises in the kitchen for a few days.....the first time I assumed it was a pan probably kept in the wrong place, three days in a row the same lid off the platform looked suspicious.I was sure it was a mouse. A hates mice, he harbors a paranoidal fear of rats which I think is quite unreasonable. but I don't love rats either, specially in the kitchen.

I planned to get mice medicine & hoped selfishly that they would die else where & not in my house.

And then today morning I noticed in the layer of dust on my side table by the window.... paw prints!.... delicate & flowery!.... a cat in the house!.......and then it all fell into place, a sly little (judging by paw size) cat has been stealing into my house in the night, No doubt the fish smell helped. He's been helping himself to the left overs in the dust bin I guess & knocking down the lid of my fish frying pan.

Plan to put out a bowl of milk tommorrow, right on the table he's been using as a step down into the house, by the window.Hope he appreciates, & may be visit me once in a while during the day.

Gudiya the vegetarian spaniel

Gudiya came home yesterday.They were late she & her rescuer & reached only around 9.30.She is a 2 year old girl, the color of spun gold & with long curly ears.She seemed a bit of a bully, barging into the house to sniff through all the rooms, though she did keep away when was told to, specially from the kitchen.

Once she confirmed that all was well and there was no body else in the house she came to the living room to sit with us.Asha told us (the sleeping A was woken up to meet gudiya) about gudiya.Though just two she was on a barrage of pills.Unusual for a dog of that age, unless she was treated badly or with indifference. The vet has been going through her ears & between her toes to cure infections she seemed to have caught.She had a tumor on her belly, a benign one & a week hind leg.She had been through 4 houses in 2 years, an average of 6 months. She did not get along with children & other dogs at homes she was in.



She seemed to be happy though, loved the snacks I bought her, sat down & got her head scratched almost dozing off in pleasure, lay on her back for her belly to be tickled (unusual) & jumped up to hug & play when they got up to leave.

Would have loved to keep her.but not too sure we are at the right stage of life to do that.A decision to be kept for a good 12-14 years. Hope she finds a good place, think she'll need a lot of love & attention.

In the meanwhile

Its been a while, in the meanwhile it rained, I clicked a few bad pictures, met a pushy client, sent out a good presentation, a friend came home, considered adopting Gudiya the vegetarian spaniel. 

The sociology experiment called book crossing

Came accross Book Crossing the website through a friend a few days back.Truly a sociology experiment, and I guess statistics could say a lot about the concerned geographical regions.

India, Members : 6262, books released in the past 30 days : 4, all controlled releases.Now for the regions, Two from West Bengal, one in Delhi & one in Uttarakhand (UK :D).

As against 

USA : 7192 books in the same time from 327140 members (who says Americans don't read!)

 Switzerland : 789 books from 6459 members

It worries me, do we not read? do we not believe in giving? Are we not internet savvy? Are we not in touch with new Ideas & philosophies? Do they not work for us? Are we too busy making a living? Are we too poor to think of giving? Are they (giving & poverty in the real sense) connected at all? Is the reason amongst the above list...or are all the above reasons

'NEW DELHI/GURGAON: A day after TOI reported the story of a Gurgaon scrap dealer who restored an eight-yearold boy to his parents after a two-year search, the 'saviour' has landed in trouble, with the Child Welfare Committee seeking an explanation from him for not informing the local police about the boy. '
Read more

Wish we had more faith in the goodness in people, even in a place like Delhi where it is not something you encounter commonly.why is it so difficult for us to believe that an old scrap dealer had goodness enough in him to bring up a child he found on the street as his own for two whole years, till he was able to trace his family & return the boy.

I believe that faith multiplies things (no not Faith, my friend, the lovely girl from S'pore). When you believe things happen, they happen & happen & happen more often, well at least more so than if you did not at all. Thereby lack of  faith is probably the greatest of destroyers.slow but steady & sure.Stop believing in the goodness that people might be capable of & it might disappear... for good.

lost in ADS

Today while surfing through names for perfumes for work I found this site with highlights on the sentencelet '"A good name is better than fine perfume,....'. For a second I was worried, the whole success of the poor guy's perfume brand depended on the lovely name I was to provide him. Obviously packaging is more important than content today!....


Till I read the link. http://www.scripturestudies.com/vol7/g2/wis.html. Scripture studies! And there I read the rest of the sentence ' Solomon begins: "A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart"

The scent of sun

Sometimes, out of the blue I smell starched, sun dried clothes & I wonder if it has something to do with my grandmother, if she around.

I wonder if anybody reads what I write...I doubt it.

Canon in summer

Bought the camera I have been wanting to buy for the longest time.Not that I am a great photographer, but I do think I have an understanding of composition & color.I love animals too.The cam is a Canon 1100D, think would work for me.Only wish it was not as hot as it is here, would have got out & clicked a few pics.

As it is me zeal for photography seems to be much wanting in the face of the intense Delhi summers.My mom in law says it will be a good two months more,a month till july 17th the hottest day of the season & a month from then.Hope it rains a bit in between or what with the heat & dust I will just shrivel up & die.

Planning on visiting the Delhi Blue Pottery place for some time.It is some where near CP,not too far, specially by the air conditioned metro. Its that time of the year when I am willing to do anything for air conditioning

Rain..

It is amazing how much weather dictates who you are, or how you behave when taken out of your native weather, if you have one that is. I have one.Dark clouds, soaking rain with thunder & lightening, punctuated with sharp sunshine that makes the water all sparkly. the perpetual weather back home.

That's probably why the Delhi heat saps my strength, leaves me in a perpetual daze, rest is a deadman's sleep with abrupt beginnings & ends, filled with strange dreams that run like cinema.The winters are a bit better, though dried up & cold there still remains the will to go out & look at things.But nothing compares to rains.Water saturates the air & glistening on the leaves, the whole world washed clean of dust, the dusty roads suddenly dark & wet .There truly is nothing like the rain in the whole world.

When it rains I feel at home..more or less, as fresh as a newborn... my senses are sharp, I feel like writing.

My mother thinks I can write, but then I guess mothers always feel their kids are better than they actually are.She's been telling me stories of neighnours & relations,some funny some sensational.Come to think of it there is indeed data enough for a couple of books in there.The question is can I write?

I feel the need of exploring myself afresh, to look at the past & present in the light of life lived for 33 years,.to explore & understand myself fully.plan to look at two mediums photography & writing for this ...lets see what comes of it....hope something good does

The duckdream

Dreamt of a duck today, am getting better & better at it, dreaming up a full sequence of events in HD carity & a logical sequence of events.
In my dream I lived with my mother in an apartment in a dusty city, probably Chennai may be even Bombay (can't think of another city where they might let you keep ducks in apartments.).it was summertime, weather hot  the non landscaped apartment compound mud brown with a few scraggly trees here & there.The duck , my pet by the look of it, followed me around in my apartment & balcony(which looked very close to my current balcony).At times looking down the protective grilles to the compound below.
Then out of nowhere she took flight, more like a jump with flappy wings & landed in someone elses house.I ran down the stairs to fetch her back, but could not locate her, I walked around looking for her, asking people if they had seen a duck, that I had lost mine.
Nobody had. I had to give up my search in a few hours, I did not know where to find her.I was almost sure she would not come back, birds seldom do.on my way back up I walked into the wrong door & there I was in a large luxurious home, strangely, it totally did not belong in the otherwise middle class background.The spaces were large though a bit drab due to lack of any furniture.The huge terrace at a lower level overlooked a beach with the sun setting into the sea.A few molded plastic chairs were lined up along the metal grille that lined the terrace, the whole space was empty, I realised I had walked into someone elses place. I quickly walked out closing the unlocked door behind me wondering how I missed the fact that the apartment had a sea facing side.

As I walked up the stairs I saw the couple who lived there(I seem to have known they lived there) sitting by on park benches down below.The woman looked up saw me & waved.As I was muttering my apologies for barging into their home, she called out that my place was beautifully done up.Almost a query into if I could do it for her.I run up thinking there indeed was scope to do something there, wondering if there was money in it, wondering when & how she saw my place & my mother calls,
 She's found the duck, it is among the other colony ducks (Colony Ducks??) lined up on a metal railing.Cosily wedged between two others.Among all the others its almost difficult to distinguish her.But she seemed to have found home.So we decide to let her be, amongst her new friends.

I have never had a duck, defenitely not in an apartment, apartment compounds dont usually have ducks, dogs may be , cats even, but ducks defenitely not.Ducks do not sit on railings, their feet are webbed.But then it was just a dream.....a duckdream  

lost in translation :)

It is a pity I cannot write in my own language, mother tongue if you will. After all the ability to write a list of groceries does not count as writing.The more I try to write I realize there are way too many things in life you would express more accurately in your own tongue.There are things & customs & expressions unique to languages & people who speak them, those that other languages do not have words for.Even if one attempts to do so clumsily with makeshift words it some how does not suffice, The picture that they bring to mind are often not the same or as clear.

For example the word 'smoke' spoken in English leaves open too many possibilities.it could be cigarette smoke, industrial smoke, smoke from the vehicles on the streets, smoke from old fashioned wood fires, fire places, pipes, an electrical malfunction....the possibilities are endless.It does not call accurately to the mind the smell of a fire of burning coconut shells & dry leaves, for cooking or heating water or to just burn the rubbish in the yard, as does the malayalam word 'Poka'....well more or less.Of course there are loop holes & possibilities there too but the field is not as wide as in the first case.

It possibly has to do with the cultures these words belong to.It is difficult to imagine an English man (or woman for that matter), burning coconut shells & dry palm leaves to heat water on an open fire in his tailored clothes.Though it is the commonest sight back home, though these days it is more often to dispose off dry waste.

When I talk or sometimes sit down to write things down I often feel the need for these words I cannot use.Words that can paint an accurate picture.And all because I am not using the language I feel in.I think it is important, to be able write in the language one experiences one's world in. It holds more than what meets the eye. It holds the past, the present & the future of these cultures it belongs to.It holds the knowledge of the past that can transcend time & be part of its people's future.Knowledge generated by generations that have lived well, in tune with nature.Knowledge that would be essential to live well in these places at present & in future .

PS: just read Sarah Joseph

KSEB lessons for life

I had never really tried to work at home before.its a green rainy place of frogs & crickets ideals for walks in the morning & naps after lunch.Good food & parents make s one feel all safe & child like with no responsibilities.
Only this time I had to, Work did not come in often, I needed the money,The client looked like he will have further projects.I had to pull it through from home this time.
the funny thing though the plavce is completely electrified a strong wind ould cause power failures that last fordays

Once upon a time

Once upon a time I lived on an island, an island fringed with white sandy beaches, set in turquoise waters. An  island where news from the world came in seven days with each new ship that came in, bearing news papers from the past week, vegetables, provisions & once in a while a scandal of a body in the ships freezer.

We lived in a house of tin & wood. The frequent earthquakes shook the scraggly structure, window closures clinking in unison. It rained there for a good half a year, large drops of water slashing in to the earth, drumming down on tin roofs, leaking in places, water dripping down to the wooden floor & then further down to the the ground floor house

I walked to school & back, a 30 minute trail through the high walkways overlooking the sea.I kept an eye on the port to see if the ocean pearl was there yet, the beautiful all white australian vessel.it looked lovely against the blue waters, & I could be the bearer of this important piece of news, the arrival of a new vessel   

An early morning dream

Had a strange dream today, an early morning dream.Years back there would have been hope of it coming true, for early morning dreams are meant to come true.Three decades of morning dreams have taught me otherwise. Early morning or not, dreams come true only if you work towards them, romantic or otherwise.
In my dream I lay on a white worught iron bench, my head propped up on the arm rest,surrounded by beautiful young men & women, clad in shorts & skirts, easy early morning sunday wear. They talk loudly helping themselves to breakfast, hugging & kissing uninhibitedly.It was some what early in the morning, much before the sun turned yellow & heated the place up. Fresh sea breeze ruffled my hair.A white breakfast table by my side held a breakfast spread, flanked by chairs & striped blue & white parasols. They seemed to know me.I was older & alone though, not part of the losely woven pairs around me.A guy sat by me, a man of undeterminable age not young enough to be a boy & not old enough to be a man. He smiled & looked down upon me, bringing his head down to kiss my neck.

I knew I could not let it happen.If not bound to somebody else I was defenitely not attached to this guy in any  way.My somewhat prudish upbringing did not allow me to accept intimacies with men I was not assosciated with in conventional terms. But then what the heck, I hugged him close for a minute.. & then woke up with a start as somebody called my name to wake me up.

I wanted to kick him in the shin, my waker up, he could atleast have let me finish my dream. it was a beautiful dream, such like I have not had in years. It reminded me of V.The fact that the guy by my side was part african probably had something to do with it. The dream had all the giddiness of early love had something to do with it too.Thought to look him up early in the morning,could not locate him though. No V to fit the description in FB.The only V that could has an african surname. People change surnames & its been a decade atleast since I last spoken to V, May be I should write to the V with the african surname & find out if he is the young boy I knew in my chennai days.

The trunk from Ahmedabad

Went through the old trunk from Ahmedabad, locked up in it & stored away is all my stuff from my Post graduate school days, except for clothes of course. A flimsy aluminium affair battered in transport - remember paying the courier company quite some money for it, some thing like 2 grand, 6 years back. My father tried convincing me there really couldn't be stuff worth that money.
Am glad I got it though.....found things from the time....dates cards from amit, project documentations, photographs, braiding samples, leather bits, large cartridge sketches.
Some of it rather pathetic, badly broken & repeatedly mended bits of ceramic,tiny bottles, wooden toys, glass paper weights & ceramic beads, all bought from the sunday flea market or the cart outside the campus, by the main gate.My attempts at decorating my tiny bedside space in a budget.

There wasnt too much money, my father was then a retired bank employee with a few export clients to add to the income.
I lived in the hostel & ate in the mess, which though not as luxurious as today was still good food 3 times a day, & you paid for it all right in the beginning of the semester, which menat you had to pay nothing for the rest of the six months.So living there was not really expensive, in fact you could go through a week without any money, borrowing small sums from friends to buy stationary or the occassional tea.

Found in the trunk were also some sketches from Naik,our drawing faculty, gifts some of them, some just things he did to demonstrate. He must be old now, may be seventy, may be a bit less. he was a bachelor,an old MSU graduate, sculptor & artist, often commissioned by the government of Gujarat & other private organisations.the only things from it that probably is of any real value in the pecuniary sense.

pecuniary considerations aside the box is a door to the past, to the happy carefree youth where choices that define life were yet to be made, where anything was possible

Vishuppakshi

Today was Vishu, the Mallu New year & harvest festival. As syrian christians we conveniently skip it, the new year for us is on first of january along with the western world.
Today Malayala Manorama - which seldom does anything but publish obituaries - identified the 'vishuppakshi' or 'the new year bird' for me.Though I have always heard it mentioned in old songs I did not realise there was a real bird called that.

So here is the 'New Year Bird of Kerala' for you, The Indian Cuckoo, to be more scientific Cuculus micropterus concretus or to be a bit more romantic 'the shortwinged Cuckoo bird'
The image is from orientalbirdimages.org.I chose it from a lot of them on google. Its a beautiful picture of a not very flamboyant bird, some how in kerala we are not really blessed with birds of flamboyant plumage like the peacock so common in arid regions of Rajasthan & Gujarat.The birds here are mostly black & grey with accents of colors like red or orange, they are built with great detail though, tiny & quick with a special head gear or tail.you really need to look at them real close to see the magic.

Air India? Indigo?

Am half way through this trip home, time to book tickets, there is an Airindia flight at a good price.Have not travelled AirIndia in a long time...the last was while I was with VIP,those compulsory Air India bookings to China..but that is a longtime from now, about five years back,

The memories are not pleasant, matronly airhostesses admonishing the elderly & passengers with children with snide remarks on their sense of hygiene & propriety, sly smiles thrown at the seemingly fashionable crowd around in a 'how do these get here' manner.Old fat male stewards passing their numbers on paper napkins to young women onboard.....I have a feeling that it cannot be legal, these fat men trying to push their details at you, pretending the possibility of something more than an air journey..there sure must be a rule against that..... 'thou shall not force thy numbers upon young women travelling alone in your flight while serving them tea'

But the other side of it is the oldworld luxury of government establishments.The airconditioned ambassadors & the old world colonial guest houses that serve you pot coffee in the typical steel pots & stoneware cups.There is a certain calm & serenity there, a sort of oldworld goodness like in the VIP guest house & sales offices in smaller towns like Lucknow or Kolkata.Of course these do not apply for an airticket, but then an Air India flight might remind you of these I guess, also I am kind of sure they give you free airline food :)

worries...worries

Today I do not feel too good, a little depressed may be. Life seems a bit stuck in a phase.Things do not seem to be moving as they should.Nothing new in life, perspective stale & probably soon redundant.Need to do something about it I guess.....But not too sure what..
I think lack of direction is one of my largest problems now.

M seems to have pulled through unfortunate times.His property selling out in a few days & he is a free bird to start afresh.Its a good thing, a fresh start, considering all the shit that he has had to go through 

an illness, a moving & a going home

It was quite an eventful week. P came home ill, she was just unhappy to begin with,but the sadness seem to grow into something else, something deeper & more unsettling.so much so I was scared to leave her home all alone.I took her along to the new place to look at the new home we would live in, Amit & I & she just disappeared from there.the next 3 hours were crazy, friends dropped in joining the hunt & finally her flat mate with the sharpest eyes in the world found her in an auto, peacefully riding by.without him calling out she probably would not have stopped.moved her to a hospital & moved home the very next day

The new place is larger, with the dining space opening opening out to a large terrace/balcony.I have a sunlit room to work in.my absolute bottles can go up again on top of the desks to be lit up & beautiful.The place is noisy though,being so close to the road. In the night from the terrace I can see the night traffic, headlights moving at snail pace in traffic.The stairs that lead up to the place is dark & a little dingy, but the place itself is not so bad,is cooler than the other place with white tiled floors.The construction is a bit old, the windows dont open.The previous tenants say rats come in,ants apear at the drop of a hat, or rather at the drop of a chip :).the woodwork needs a coat of paint that I plan to put in once I get back & the terrace needs fixing for seepage.some of the old service people dont deliver, like the water guy, the near bby market offer less variety.but the old place & its markets are not so far, so I think we will manage.All in all not so bad, if you put away the pain of moving out of a familiar place.the moving was something though, they seemed understaffed with just 4 people.they seemed a bit unhappy as we had too many small things rather than a few large things.just have a few things more to unpack, my stuff....will get to that when I gert back..

got home after lots of work, theres stuff to finish here too.the lamp designs.but time flies here with not much to show for it but food & sleep..lets see how much I manage to finish  

Back home

Its good to be back, got here yesterday about seven in the night. I hear people hating humidity, its funny I just love humidity, it keeps my skin healthy. its about 32 degrees, but its not so bad. At least its not the drying lifesapping heat of Delhi, dust settling into every pore of you.Here there is hope of rain, of dark clouds & cool breeze & the sound of thunder, And if it actually rains, the smell of wet earth & the sound of rain.water shining on roof tops & leaves.
Hope is a good thing

Finally a home to move into.

After many agonising days of looking around & decision making I think we have finally go ourselves a home.About 15 kilometers away in an old but green colony.The place has a lovely balcony that overlooks the green & a tiny parking where we would probably park.all in all it would be a good place to live in I think,though there is a lot of work that needs to go in to get there.
The overflowing tanks fixed, the ceiling waterproofed (whatever little we can,waterproofing is not cheap) a coat of paint, thorough cleaning & it would be all fit to move in.look forward to it in someways.change is good .

Lost in moving

Time for a moving, not too far this time, just a kilometre away.but there are people I will not see again. like my cleaning lady & my ironing guy.

There are people I have stopped seeing but know I live here,people I am not in touch with anymore, whose numbers I have lost, who wouldn't know where to find me if I moved, incase they needed to, Like my cook from a year back.She was old, with big round eyes & a figure to match.she wore beautiful cotton sarees & was an extremely capable woman.She cooked well & took care of the place as if it was her own, as if we belonged to her.
Poki, the cat, loved her, his provider of fish.He rolypollied on the floor as soon as she came walked in, demanding to be touched....and they say cats dont care! He would sit on the washing machine watching her do the dishes & cook.putting out a paw once in a while to play
She looked after the house for us for 3 years in just those 10 odd hours a week.I never felt lonely or unprotected. she knew when the ceiling was leaking & we needed to get it corrected, that there was a better water supplier that we could use,what new cooking equipment we had to buy.

Then one fine day she just stopped coming, send her daughter a few days later to tell me she fell in the bathroom.she'd always had weak knees.she'd hurt herself pretty bad, bad enough to know she would never be able to work anymore.
She fixed her daughter up for me.but it was not the same, not even close.she left in a few months. In a typical case of phone loss I lost her number.so now I can never get in touch.
if she ever comes this way & decides to drop by I would not be here.I cannot leave her a forwarding address & I am pretty sure I will never see her again.Its a sad thing.she was one of the most wonderful people I got to know here, I dont even have a picture of hers. she & poki, both gone. They kind of marked a time period of our life.The Samsung times.I just realise it now that I move out of here to start a new phase of my life.That poki & protima are things of the past & though I loved them both very much I can never have them back..   

earthquake!! thankfully a tiny one,midday today

Spring is here!

It is that time of the year in Delhi when sweaters go to the cleaners, you see the first ant of the season on your kitchen counter, the first lizard on your wall :).The temperature is lovely most of the time.during these times it is difficult to believe there ever was the cold grey winter or the 'omelette on the road' summers.That rare, short season of the year of new beginnings.

I was born around this time of the year too.makes it better for me I suppose.It almost feels like new year.
Out current landlord wants us out.so we'll have a new home too.
Feels good! after quite some time I must admit.

My father in Munnar

Found this in one of my various old notebooks, decided to upload & keep record so I can use the notebook for other more practical purposes such as making grocery lists.....so here it goes

My roots in Munnar dont run very deep, speaking in conventional terms.My grand father lived there for more than a decade, running the tea estates for the British.Then in 19-- he retired & came to Kottayam with his wife & six children, two girls & four boys. My father was the fifth child.

He spent about 10 years of his life in Munnar.The first 10 years of his life.The lucky boy that he was he did not go to school for these ten odd years.His brothers, older than him, went to boarding schools.Munnar back then was quite a jungle with no schools or hospitals, People had to keep their own cows for milk.Big cats from the forest occassionally visited cow sheds for a more domesticated meal.

It was after those 10 free years in Munnar that he directly joined 6th standard in CMS boy's school in kottayam.Those early years with lots of time on his hands left a great impact on him.His love for cold hilly places stem from them.His interest in all things British probably stem from there too.

Munnar showcases samples of British engineering marvel typical of the era.They build roads & put up ropeways & bridges in Munnar Of these the Thookkupalam or the hanging bridge still stands or rather hangs till today fully operational.It is said that the bridge was made in England, as they did not find the right infrastructure to build it in India and got it all the way to Munnar to put it up there.

Visiting parents & related travels

Had parents visiting from almost 4 air hours away.it was cold (for them).Travelled a bit, saw the famous Taj Mahal at last, truly an architectural feat considering the times.Though the state the town of Agra is in right now more than balances out the glorious past.Questionably the filthiest railway station I have ever seen.Every inch littered, foot paths wet with pee, pushy harassing touts at the station offering various services.It is a wonder people make a second trip.
More interesting is the tactless signages put up accross the Tajmahal to guide the highvalue/foriegn ticket holders Vs Indian tourists.Indian tourists are allowed to see the Taj at a 30 rs ticket, whereas the foriegn nationals have to shell out close to 700 rs.It is not an unusual practise accross countries to have a fare difference for foreign nationals visiting monuments of cultural or historical value.What is unusual is the treatment meted out to these visitors.Right from where do you enter (at various entrances) to you where you walk to weather you take off your shoes or not is decided by the ticket price.More tactful signage could have helped for sure

The second trip was to the the hill station Manali & the neighbouring Naggar.Was pleasant enough, melting snow & lovely, friendly dogs.Stayed at The Castle, the heritage hotel at Naggar.The Castle was built by Raja Sidh Singh of Kullu around 1460 A.D.Lovely place built in stone & wood in the local Himanchali tradition.Am curious to find how much of it is renovated though, most of it I assume, except for the foundation may be.Renovated well though, true to local materials & techniques & most likely based on the original plan. Rooms are nice too, ceilings & floors paneled in soft wood & surprisingly modern considering the exteriors.

The page of wands

Its almost as if the perm is an opportunity generator.The minute I got it & thought 'Thats it.....cannot go near a corporate job interview for some time now!' stuff has started figuring out.From job offers that are way too far away to be taken up (married women cannot travel too far for work) to other opportunities that are almost too good to believe(I am saying touch wood & feeling up my desk as I write this).

So, superstitiously I try my online tarot deck & come up with 'The page of wands'. Dont remember getting the guy before & he is pretty cool! He supposedly is like the fool, new beginnings & creativity but coupled with opportunities.Now that's just what I need at present.....

A new hairstyle

I got a perm yesterday.I hate the fumes & the torturous wooden pins that set your hair, but i admit am too vain to stop those from getting it done.Also I find it a bit unfair that my mother has beautiful curly hair & did not care to pass it on to me.I consider curly hair a mallu birth right that unjustly did not come my way.I definitely look much better with it as i discovered early on.

The last I had a perm was when I was in school, a post graduate design programme. I walked in as a newbee with all this lovely curly hair.The campus was, large full of old trees & pea cocks, the cobbled walkways treelined & covered in pigeon shit.In the evening as the sun went down the sparkling river, the lanes to the hostel smelled earthily of bird droppings & the roosting conversations of assorted bird species filled the air.I met my husband there.The perm must have had something to do with it, big hair inevitably increases visibility.we were seeing each other almost at once & was married in 4 years.

The perm wore away & jobs ate into our lives.denims gave way to trousers & sneakers to formal pumps.Life moved in predictable ways till a few months back.

Now am kind of at the beginning again. The perm helps I hope, to see life as if it were full of possibilities yet again

'not to do' lists

Have a huge list of to do things today, almost seven in the night & I have not successfully accomplished even one of them except for may be sending in a cheque book request.There is somethng about being at home that wants you to just loll around on sofas specially if there is a strategically placed television at hand.