Pages

Friday, 27 April 2012

KSEB lessons for life

I had never really tried to work at home before.its a green rainy place of frogs & crickets ideals for walks in the morning & naps after lunch.Good food & parents make s one feel all safe & child like with no responsibilities.
Only this time I had to, Work did not come in often, I needed the money,The client looked like he will have further projects.I had to pull it through from home this time.
the funny thing though the plavce is completely electrified a strong wind ould cause power failures that last fordays

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Once upon a time

Once upon a time I lived on an island, an island fringed with white sandy beaches, set in turquoise waters. An  island where news from the world came in seven days with each new ship that came in, bearing news papers from the past week, vegetables, provisions & once in a while a scandal of a body in the ships freezer.

We lived in a house of tin & wood. The frequent earthquakes shook the scraggly structure, window closures clinking in unison. It rained there for a good half a year, large drops of water slashing in to the earth, drumming down on tin roofs, leaking in places, water dripping down to the wooden floor & then further down to the the ground floor house

I walked to school & back, a 30 minute trail through the high walkways overlooking the sea.I kept an eye on the port to see if the ocean pearl was there yet, the beautiful all white australian vessel.it looked lovely against the blue waters, & I could be the bearer of this important piece of news, the arrival of a new vessel   

Sunday, 22 April 2012

An early morning dream

Had a strange dream today, an early morning dream.Years back there would have been hope of it coming true, for early morning dreams are meant to come true.Three decades of morning dreams have taught me otherwise. Early morning or not, dreams come true only if you work towards them, romantic or otherwise.
In my dream I lay on a white worught iron bench, my head propped up on the arm rest,surrounded by beautiful young men & women, clad in shorts & skirts, easy early morning sunday wear. They talk loudly helping themselves to breakfast, hugging & kissing uninhibitedly.It was some what early in the morning, much before the sun turned yellow & heated the place up. Fresh sea breeze ruffled my hair.A white breakfast table by my side held a breakfast spread, flanked by chairs & striped blue & white parasols. They seemed to know me.I was older & alone though, not part of the losely woven pairs around me.A guy sat by me, a man of undeterminable age not young enough to be a boy & not old enough to be a man. He smiled & looked down upon me, bringing his head down to kiss my neck.

I knew I could not let it happen.If not bound to somebody else I was defenitely not attached to this guy in any  way.My somewhat prudish upbringing did not allow me to accept intimacies with men I was not assosciated with in conventional terms. But then what the heck, I hugged him close for a minute.. & then woke up with a start as somebody called my name to wake me up.

I wanted to kick him in the shin, my waker up, he could atleast have let me finish my dream. it was a beautiful dream, such like I have not had in years. It reminded me of V.The fact that the guy by my side was part african probably had something to do with it. The dream had all the giddiness of early love had something to do with it too.Thought to look him up early in the morning,could not locate him though. No V to fit the description in FB.The only V that could has an african surname. People change surnames & its been a decade atleast since I last spoken to V, May be I should write to the V with the african surname & find out if he is the young boy I knew in my chennai days.

Monday, 16 April 2012

The trunk from Ahmedabad

Went through the old trunk from Ahmedabad, locked up in it & stored away is all my stuff from my Post graduate school days, except for clothes of course. A flimsy aluminium affair battered in transport - remember paying the courier company quite some money for it, some thing like 2 grand, 6 years back. My father tried convincing me there really couldn't be stuff worth that money.
Am glad I got it though.....found things from the time....dates cards from amit, project documentations, photographs, braiding samples, leather bits, large cartridge sketches.
Some of it rather pathetic, badly broken & repeatedly mended bits of ceramic,tiny bottles, wooden toys, glass paper weights & ceramic beads, all bought from the sunday flea market or the cart outside the campus, by the main gate.My attempts at decorating my tiny bedside space in a budget.

There wasnt too much money, my father was then a retired bank employee with a few export clients to add to the income.
I lived in the hostel & ate in the mess, which though not as luxurious as today was still good food 3 times a day, & you paid for it all right in the beginning of the semester, which menat you had to pay nothing for the rest of the six months.So living there was not really expensive, in fact you could go through a week without any money, borrowing small sums from friends to buy stationary or the occassional tea.

Found in the trunk were also some sketches from Naik,our drawing faculty, gifts some of them, some just things he did to demonstrate. He must be old now, may be seventy, may be a bit less. he was a bachelor,an old MSU graduate, sculptor & artist, often commissioned by the government of Gujarat & other private organisations.the only things from it that probably is of any real value in the pecuniary sense.

pecuniary considerations aside the box is a door to the past, to the happy carefree youth where choices that define life were yet to be made, where anything was possible

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Vishuppakshi

Today was Vishu, the Mallu New year & harvest festival. As syrian christians we conveniently skip it, the new year for us is on first of january along with the western world.
Today Malayala Manorama - which seldom does anything but publish obituaries - identified the 'vishuppakshi' or 'the new year bird' for me.Though I have always heard it mentioned in old songs I did not realise there was a real bird called that.

So here is the 'New Year Bird of Kerala' for you, The Indian Cuckoo, to be more scientific Cuculus micropterus concretus or to be a bit more romantic 'the shortwinged Cuckoo bird'
The image is from orientalbirdimages.org.I chose it from a lot of them on google. Its a beautiful picture of a not very flamboyant bird, some how in kerala we are not really blessed with birds of flamboyant plumage like the peacock so common in arid regions of Rajasthan & Gujarat.The birds here are mostly black & grey with accents of colors like red or orange, they are built with great detail though, tiny & quick with a special head gear or tail.you really need to look at them real close to see the magic.

Air India? Indigo?

Am half way through this trip home, time to book tickets, there is an Airindia flight at a good price.Have not travelled AirIndia in a long time...the last was while I was with VIP,those compulsory Air India bookings to China..but that is a longtime from now, about five years back,

The memories are not pleasant, matronly airhostesses admonishing the elderly & passengers with children with snide remarks on their sense of hygiene & propriety, sly smiles thrown at the seemingly fashionable crowd around in a 'how do these get here' manner.Old fat male stewards passing their numbers on paper napkins to young women onboard.....I have a feeling that it cannot be legal, these fat men trying to push their details at you, pretending the possibility of something more than an air journey..there sure must be a rule against that..... 'thou shall not force thy numbers upon young women travelling alone in your flight while serving them tea'

But the other side of it is the oldworld luxury of government establishments.The airconditioned ambassadors & the old world colonial guest houses that serve you pot coffee in the typical steel pots & stoneware cups.There is a certain calm & serenity there, a sort of oldworld goodness like in the VIP guest house & sales offices in smaller towns like Lucknow or Kolkata.Of course these do not apply for an airticket, but then an Air India flight might remind you of these I guess, also I am kind of sure they give you free airline food :)

Monday, 9 April 2012

worries...worries

Today I do not feel too good, a little depressed may be. Life seems a bit stuck in a phase.Things do not seem to be moving as they should.Nothing new in life, perspective stale & probably soon redundant.Need to do something about it I guess.....But not too sure what..
I think lack of direction is one of my largest problems now.

M seems to have pulled through unfortunate times.His property selling out in a few days & he is a free bird to start afresh.Its a good thing, a fresh start, considering all the shit that he has had to go through 

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

an illness, a moving & a going home

It was quite an eventful week. P came home ill, she was just unhappy to begin with,but the sadness seem to grow into something else, something deeper & more unsettling.so much so I was scared to leave her home all alone.I took her along to the new place to look at the new home we would live in, Amit & I & she just disappeared from there.the next 3 hours were crazy, friends dropped in joining the hunt & finally her flat mate with the sharpest eyes in the world found her in an auto, peacefully riding by.without him calling out she probably would not have stopped.moved her to a hospital & moved home the very next day

The new place is larger, with the dining space opening opening out to a large terrace/balcony.I have a sunlit room to work in.my absolute bottles can go up again on top of the desks to be lit up & beautiful.The place is noisy though,being so close to the road. In the night from the terrace I can see the night traffic, headlights moving at snail pace in traffic.The stairs that lead up to the place is dark & a little dingy, but the place itself is not so bad,is cooler than the other place with white tiled floors.The construction is a bit old, the windows dont open.The previous tenants say rats come in,ants apear at the drop of a hat, or rather at the drop of a chip :).the woodwork needs a coat of paint that I plan to put in once I get back & the terrace needs fixing for seepage.some of the old service people dont deliver, like the water guy, the near bby market offer less variety.but the old place & its markets are not so far, so I think we will manage.All in all not so bad, if you put away the pain of moving out of a familiar place.the moving was something though, they seemed understaffed with just 4 people.they seemed a bit unhappy as we had too many small things rather than a few large things.just have a few things more to unpack, my stuff....will get to that when I gert back..

got home after lots of work, theres stuff to finish here too.the lamp designs.but time flies here with not much to show for it but food & sleep..lets see how much I manage to finish  

Back home

Its good to be back, got here yesterday about seven in the night. I hear people hating humidity, its funny I just love humidity, it keeps my skin healthy. its about 32 degrees, but its not so bad. At least its not the drying lifesapping heat of Delhi, dust settling into every pore of you.Here there is hope of rain, of dark clouds & cool breeze & the sound of thunder, And if it actually rains, the smell of wet earth & the sound of rain.water shining on roof tops & leaves.
Hope is a good thing